Quondam Dreams

Approaching The Halfway Point

2009-06-30T22:01:00.001-07:00

We're just about halfway through 2009, and I can't help but notice that a lot of us are having truly craptastic years. Unemployment, deaths, illness, pestilence... just a whole lot of no fun.

So if you're reading this, 2009, please tell me what we did to you to make you so mad at us. I can't promise that we'll stop doing whatever it is, but it would be nice to have an explanation for all the suck.

Elsewhere

2009-05-31T23:23:00.001-07:00

Yeah, I know. I've been slacking on posting to this blog lately. I've been pouring much of my blogging time into yet another one that I hope to launch soon, and the rest into Rose Knows. (I'm always fielding questions and taking requests; whether I answer them is less of a certainty.)

If you need more Rose pithiness in your life (I can't imagine why you would, but that's your business), I'm @roseknows over on Twitter. Look for the purple Devil Duckie.

A Note To Recruiters, Re: Taking You Seriously

2009-04-30T11:06:00.000-07:00

Hi, recruiters. I know it's been a while since I've written to you, but I've been busy not working.

Now, I know it's not your fault that the job market's slow, even for eminently employable people like me. I know it's slow because lately, I've been getting pitches for the same position from two or three recruiters. I've found that I have more success by having one person push for me than by allowing my potential employer be spammed with my resume. (And by "success," I mean, "ever hearing from someone about this position again". Lowered expectations, I have them.)

So what might make me go with one recruiter over another? Here are some sure-fire ways to make sure you're not the one who could potentially get a commission off me:

Use of "LOL" in email. Just don't. Ever. Especially in a business email. If we've been working together for a while, I'll let a well-placed :) slide, but "LOL"? Save it for IMs to your friend from college.

Hotmail email address. Ideally, you should have an email account from whatever company you're representing. If you're freelancing, then you really should take the time to register a domain name. But if for some reason you really do need to use a free account, then use Gmail. You can do much more with it than you can with other free services, and it doesn't put ads on your messages. (Jury's still out on Yahoo addresses. My current thinking is that they're fine for the job seeker, but I'd rather see a recruiter that's researched which service will give them the most bang for their non-existent bucks.)

Unintelligible voice mails. No-brainer, right? You'd be surprised.

Unidentifiable area code. I debated whether to include this one. I'm big on telecommuting, because it's better for the environment and because I can wear shorts if I feel like it. But the fact is, I'm going to give more weight to someone with a local or easy-to-pinpoint area code. A local number is an indication that you know the market; an out-of-area, but well-established, area code means that you're more likely to be working with an experienced recruiting agency. It could also mean that you're in the middle of Iowa and are savvy enough to get yourself cell phone with a Los Angeles area code, but at least you've put some thought into it.

Obliviousness to geography. Used to be, I only had to contend with recruiters who didn't understand that from my residence, a ten-mile commute east can easily take three times as long as a commute north. Now I'm contending with recruiters who are trying to sell me on "local candidate only" jobs that are 600 miles away. When I get multiple pitches like this, they're usually from different people at the same company. That company goes to the bottom of my priority list. A group of people who don't talk to each other, and make the same stupid mistake? Next.

I want to work with you, dear recruiter. But let's not waste each others' time, 'kay? 'Kay.

My Romantic Life In 13 Words

2009-03-26T21:23:00.000-07:00

"I'm not that guy," he said, and then proceeded to be that guy.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

(Okay, 16 words. Whatever.)

(If you're reading this, don't worry. You're not any of them.)

2009 Magic 8-Ball Oscar Picks, Sort Of: Now With Backup!

2009-02-21T23:01:00.001-08:00

First, the picks. Then, the methodology:

PICTURE: Milk
DIRECTOR: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
ACTOR: Sean Penn, Milk
ACTRESS: Meryl Streep, Doubt
SUPPORTING ACTOR: Josh Brolin, Milk
SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Frozen River
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Wall-E
ANIMATED FILM: Wall-E
ART DIRECTION: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
CINEMATOGRAPHY: The Reader
COSTUME DESIGN: Australia
DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: Encounters at the End of the World
DOCUMENTARY SHORT: The Final Inch
FILM EDITING: The Dark Knight
FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: The Class (France)
MAKEUP: Hellboy II: The Golden Army
ORIGINAL SCORE: Wall-E
ORIGINAL SONG: "Jai Ho" from Slumdog Millionaire
ANIMATED SHORT: Oktapodi
LIVE-ACTION SHORT: The Pig
SOUND EDITING: Slumdog Millionaire
SOUND MIXING: Wanted
VISUAL EFFECTS: The Dark Knight

So sue me: When packing for my current convalescence, I forgot to bring my Magic 8-Ball. When I realized this, I seriously considered forgoing the picks this year. I mean, does anyone really win pools with them? Since it's the same voters every year, we all know how to pick the acting winners: Top priority in each category goes to portrayers of real people, the more recent the better. Supporting Actor is the lifetime achievement award. The only thing that can stop the giver of a true breakout performance from winning Supporting Actress is a nominee from a Woody Allen movie. And when in doubt on Best Picture, count the technical nominees.

Yeah, so we all know that. But when it comes to the technical categories, you need an oracle. And that's usually my Magic 8-Ball. Which could be a problem.

Fortunately, I have way too much time on my hands. So I pulled apart an old project and concocted the Quick 'n' Dirty Magic 8-Ball. That still seemed too impersonal, so I decided to go old-school and pull dominoes from a bag. (No, seriously, it is too old-school. What was frequently used to cast lots back in the day? Bones. What do people often call dominoes? Bones. Therefore, domino-pulling is the modern equivalent of casting lots, and if that's good enough for that "God" person the winners keep thanking, then it's good enough for us.)

For the most part, the dominoes backed up the 8-Ball. Here's where it didn't:

ACTRESS: Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: The Reader
ART DIRECTION: The Dark Knight (with Changeling and Revolutionary Road right behind)
COSTUME DESIGN: The Duchess
MAKEUP: The Dark Knight
ORIGINAL SONG: "O Saya" from Slumdog Millionaire
LIVE ACTION SHORT: Toss-up between Manon on the Asphalt and Spielzeugland
SOUND EDITING: The Dark Knight
SOUND MIXING: Slumdog Millionaire

And there you go. Choose your oracle and take your chances. If you win anything, just remember who consults 'em for you.

A Note To Barack Obama, Not That He's Answered Any Of My Others

2009-01-21T15:40:00.001-08:00

Dear Barack,

Please don't blow this.

Thanks,
r.

P.S.: I know that you have millions of people asking you to put their issues first, but if you could get hopping on the job and health care stuff, I'd personally appreciate it. I'll totally send you a cookie when I can afford to.

A Note To Certain Internet Users, Re: Opinions

2008-12-18T11:29:00.000-08:00

Dear message board users, email list posters and blog commenters,

I've noticed that more and more of you are ending your missives with "Just my opinion".

Why?

First of all, if you're posting something that's not a direct quote, it's a safe assumption that it's your opinion. No need to clarify. Save the keystrokes. Consider using the resulting ten seconds to head over to FreeRice.com and directing a few grains of rice to the UN World Food Fund. It'll make you feel good and smart, if not a little hungry.

Perhaps more importantly, it's not "just" your opinion. It's your opinion, and just as valid as anyone else's. Own it! Claim it! Defend it! Put it on a t-shirt and sell it! You're adding to the global human discourse, for heaven's sake. Type with pride and confidence! (Though perhaps not so much confidence that you damage the keyboard. That wouldn't be good for anyone.)

Now, sit down and be counted.

r.

Not The Way-Post-Election Post

2008-11-28T15:11:00.000-08:00

I doubt that anyone but me missed it, but I've officially given up on the post-election post this time round. Since everything in my life happens at once, I had some health issues emerge at the same time as the final election run-up. I could keep them at the back of my mind while I was spending my days and evenings gleefully buried in data - but now, without the election to distract me, I've been kind of preoccupied with the personal.

(It's nothing life-threatening. It's something that can be controlled for now, but the controlling is a whole process. There is a small-but-significant chance I might need surgery in a couple-few months, which adds another layer of fun to the ongoing job hunt. In case any potential employers are Googling me, I'd like to assure you that my doctor can tell me to stay off my feet, but she can't stop me from reaching for my laptop and cell phone as soon as the knockout drugs wear off. Because I'm that much of a workaholic. Really...)

Anyway, if you know me, you know what I was going to say: That the vote broke down pretty much like I expected it to; how I can't turn cartwheels over Obama's victory because of Prop 8's passage; how Prop 8 clearly violates the equal protection clause of California's state constitution, but the fact that it shouldn't pass legal muster doesn't excuse the way in which the No campaign was so horribly mismanaged; and that, all that aside, we freakin' did it!

Now, if only the new administration would hire me for something...

Election Night Photos

2008-11-06T22:41:00.001-08:00

While I work on the inevitable post-election post, here are some camera phone photos I took at the Obama California HQ on Tuesday night...

(Or view the photo set on flickr)

An Election Morning Post

2008-11-04T11:09:00.000-08:00

I'm writing this just after voting, and before heading to the Obama state HQ (conveniently located right near me) for one more marathon of data slinging. Phone bankers may get all the glory, but something's got to happen to all that yummy data. Mmm. Data. I've mostly been doing data entry, but lately I've been tapped to... count stuff. I never said it was thrilling.

The past few days, every nook and cranny of the offices - plus a good chunk of the sidewalk outside - have been filled with people making cell phone calls to people across the country. I've handled data for Nevada, North Carolina, Indiana, Florida, Colorado and probably some other state I'm missing. While I haven't personally encountered Missouri, the phone bankers I've talked with say the Missouri people are largely charmed that folks all the way in California would be interested in li'l old them.

I'm told that celebrities have been in and out of the phone bank room. Apparently, I've missed Orlando Bloom, Eliza Dushku, Dule Hill and Ryan Philippe. Though I doubt they swang by the data room anyway. The only non-geek types to seem to are parents who want to show their kids what's going on. Hi, kids. Would you like to draw a poster?

Here are some of the things I'm going to be looking for in the moments I can get online throughout the day. Grab a pencil and play along!

Population density correlations: In 2004, the higher the density of a region, the more likely it was to vote Democratic. The trend seems to be continuing, as people move out of the cities to live among more like-minded people, and a more diverse crew moves in. (This is a gross oversimplification, of course. For actual details, check out Bill Bishop's The Big Sort blog on Slate.com.) That said, the Obama campaign has made a concerted effort to reach out to voters in rural areas. Will that show up in the final tally?
Voter turnout by age and party affiliation: Youth voter registration has been strong, and tends Democratic. Will they actually turn out? And, assuming they do, will the influx of Obama supporters carry over to what I like to call "reality legislation" initiatives on state ballots? (About which: Look, self-appointed moral guardians of America, I know that you think that gay people shouldn't marry, that teenagers seeking abortions should talk to their parents, and that frozen embryos should have the same rights as living, breathing, fully-developed people. Guess what? Reality is kinda different, and your trying to redefine it won't make it so.) Also, will the young voter turnout be higher than predicted? Most telephone polls are limited to landline numbers, which leaves out the ever-increasing number of people who only use cell phones.
The effects of early voting: Will this cut down on overly-long lines at the polls?
Difficulties voting: There are always glitches, both machine and human. With record turnout predicted, there are sure to be long lines, but some places will be less prepared than others to move things along. Will these be limited to local snafus, or will there be a more systematic pattern among polling places in a given region or state?
Skittish news anchors: In eight years, they've gone from wanting to be the first to call the election to trying not to say anything at all. It's kind of funny.

Okay. Off I go. No matter who you support, I encourage you to stop by the local offices today at see if there's anything you can do. Even if you don't care now, I promise you will when you leave. Working with a campaign makes everything so much more tangible. And, hey! Snacks!

It's Official: I'm Insulted

2008-10-15T20:30:00.000-07:00

John McCain, re Obama not voting for a "partial-birth abortion" ban because it didn't include exceptions for the health and life of the mother:

Just again, the example of the eloquence of Sen. Obama. He's health for the mother. You know, that's been stretched by the pro-abortion movement in America to mean almost anything.

That's the extreme pro-abortion position, quote, "health."

Wow. Just... wow. The health of an adult woman in distress is an "extreme pro-abortion" concern. And that's not taken out of context. (Here's the transcript for proof.)

I can only infer that McCain's been spending so much time courting the religious right that he's completely internalized their shorthand.

But, then, this is the guy who keeps pushing employer-based health coverage even as unemployment rates rise. And he also seems to think that tax credits for employees to go out and shop for coverage are going to keep prices down. Those of us who have had to deal directly with health insurance companies can tell you what's likelier to happen: Rates will go up, because the insurance companies will smell extra money. The proposed tax credit won't cover comprehensive plans as it is.

It's obvious that John McCain hasn't ever had to shop for health insurance, or look for a job. Of course he hasn't: He's worked for the military and the federal government for almost all his working life. But the rest of us, who've worked for private companies, don't always have it so easy. (Which is not imply that it's easy to work for the military or the government, just that you don't have to worry quite so much about health coverage when you do.)

Obama is right that the American taxpayers are already paying for a lot of people's care, so we might as well make it work. John McCain apparently thinks that health care -- and possibly health itself -- is a liberal luxury.

Wow.

(P.S.: I still love you if you agree with what John McCain had to say. But I'd appreciate it if you could explain it to me, because I really can't come up with any plausible justification.)

Unconventional Wisdom

2008-10-07T23:53:00.000-07:00

I was having a nice little birthday walk along the beach today (distinguishable from all my other nice little walks along the beach only because of the date - I do love this corner of the world), idly wondering if I'd learned anything over the past year.

I was almost back to my car when I spotted a flash of green and black, hovering just over the surface of an empty parking lot. It was a kite, and there was a guy on Rollerblades who was trying to get that kite aloft. The fact that there was only the slightest breeze did not deter him. He'd speed across the lot, and the kite would billow and go up, just a little. He'd stop, and it would go down. He'd look at the kite, not the least bit frustrated, and he'd turn around, and head back across the lot, and the kite would fitfully skim over the asphalt as long as he was moving. And then he'd stop and turn around again. He was still at it when I left.

And that's when I realized what I learned this year:

Assuming they're not going to lead to obvious and immediate harm, it's okay to do futile things and make bad decisions. Because if you don't, how do you know you're really alive?

That, and Flash.

A Note To Sarah Palin, Re: Character Issues

2008-10-03T00:56:00.001-07:00

Dear Gov. Palin,

Bush Twins Party Hour is a work of satire, not intended to be used as a template for answering questions posed in debates and interviews. That said, I'm impressed by your ingenuity. I'd be even more impressed by a shout-out. If you can say hi to your brother's class during a debate, you can certainly give your character inspiration a little plugerooney. It makes great filler when you've used up all your memorized talking points and other people are talking about stuff that you didn't study at debate camp.

Thanks,
Rose

A Question About Economics

2008-09-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

For all the economists out there -- especially those connected with the Bush administration, but a whole lot of others, too:

Unemployment's on the rise, stocks are in freefall, the social safety looks more shredded every day, and the government keeps trying to bail out entire industries with money that may or may not exist.

How are we not in a recession?

Really. I'm curious.

A Note To John McCain, Re: Separation Of Powers

2008-09-12T15:36:00.001-07:00

Okay, Senator. I realize that having thrown your lot in with the religious right - the self-proclaimed "base" of the Republican party - you have to throw in their favorite phrases every now and then. That's how it works. So, fine: Talk about the "culture of life" all you want, and let people interpret the vague statement depending on their individual views.

But would you please stop talking about "legislating from the bench"?

The judicial branch can't legislate from the bench. They can't legislate, period. They can only look at legislation and decide whether or not it complies with the Constitution. It's up to the other branches of government to enforce the decision and/or change the Constitution.

I'm having a hard time considering you a legitimate candidate when you keep casting doubt on whether you've actually read that Constitution you've sworn to uphold.

It's entirely possible that you'll ignore this. After all, I'm just some tree-hugging Democrat -- clearly not the audience for whom you're reciting lines. You do what you're going to do. I'll vote for the guy who's done the required reading.

I Think I'm Kind Of Insulted

2008-08-30T13:44:00.001-07:00

I've been poking away at assessments of both major candidates' VP picks, slated to be posted at rose-knows.net in the next day or two.

I keep getting sidetracked. Something's bothering me about the whole thing.

At first, I thought it might be Obama picking Joe Biden over me. But that's not it: If Barack wasn't going to go with me for the reasons I laid out, then most other sets of priorities do point straight to Biden.

Then I realized that the unease had set in right after John McCain announced that Sarah Palin was his running mate -- when his campaign started sending out that very clear message that disaffected Hillary Clinton supporters should vote for their ticket for the sole reason that John McCain had picked a female running mate.

Um. Wow. I think I'm kind of insulted.

As it happens, I voted for Obama in the primaries. But I'm still offended by the notion that a candidate's campaign things so little of a huge chunk of the electorate that they'll try to entice those people to vote for a ticket with views diametrically opposed to theirs -- first, because Obama didn't pick a woman; and, second, because McCain did.

The pick of Sarah Palin was clearly reverse-engineered by looking at the groups of likely Republican voters whose support for the candidate wasn't quite up to historical levels: Her voting record is right in line with what the evangelical community likes to see; she's a gun-owning mom with a kid in the military; and she's, y'know, a chick. Obviously, it was more important to fill in the demographic gaps than it was to pick someone qualified for the job. (Maybe I'm being overly snarky, but I've been on a job hunt of my own long enough to know that in the real world, her resume never would have made it past screening.)

You know who else is probably feeling kind of insulted? Parents of kids with Down syndrome. Sarah Palin's decision to go ahead and have a kid is being hailed by certain segments of the evangelical community as the greatest, bravest, most amazing decision ever. That clearly implies that people with Down syndrome are somehow "undesirable," so undesirable that people who are staunchly anti-abortion have a stack of "Get out of hell free" cards at the ready for just such occasions.

I don't know. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive.

I am, after all, a woman. You know us chicks.

Apparently, we're all the same.

...Okay, rant over. More sober assessment to follow on Rose Knows.

A Note To Barack Obama, To Be Written In Colored Ink On Folded Notebook Paper

2008-08-25T16:18:00.001-07:00

Hi Barack -

You probably have a lot of notes to get through, so I'll get straight to the point. I just heard that you're taking Joe with you to Denver. That's not why I'm writing. I'm sure you two will have a good time.

I'm writing because I think it was really cheesy of you not to tell me in person. Instead, I had to find out by text message in the middle of the night, like everyone else.

I don't know, maybe you didn't see my note. I guess it's possible that you had so many people inviting you to invite them to Denver that you missed mine. Except I know you're hyper-organized, so it's hard for me to think that you didn't file my note in alphabetical order with the rest of them. My last name starts with an A, and I know that if you were looking at the Bs and Cs then you had to have seen it. Plus, mine had glitter stickers. How can you miss something with glitter stickers?

So, yeah, I'm a little miffed. But in case you're worried about it, I'm not all that mad. I'll still vote for you for president of the January Ball, because I think you'll do much better than John would, and, anyway, you're cuter. I'll still be here in case you need me to help, which you might if that thing about Joe comes out. (What "thing about Joe"? Exactly. You heard nothing from me.) Call me or text me if you need me to talk to Hillary, or if Joe is totally boring you.

g/g - ttfn,
Rose

P.S. Tell Michelle I said hi.

A Note To The Obama Campaign Vice Presidential Search Committee

2008-08-04T11:47:00.000-07:00

To: Obama campaign vice presidential search committee (attn: Caroline Kennedy and Eric Holter)
From: Rose
Re: Availability

I'm a bit concerned. It's already August, mere weeks from the Democratic National Convention, and I still haven't heard from you.

Perhaps you missed my previous announcement, in which I declared my availability as a presidential running mate. Understandable; it was a while ago. Since then, I have become increasingly convinced of the importance of the importance of returning to the letter and spirit of the Constitution by choosing a vice president who does very nearly nothing. I'm kind of a workaholic, so it would be hard for me, but I can be idle for the good of my country.

I know you've considered every prominent Democrat -- and a few prominent Republicans -- in your search. It must be awfully tiring. You have a lot of factors to consider. Going by Senator Obama's recent appearance on Meet the Press, I honestly think I might be just what the Democratic ticket needs. And picking me now means that you can still enjoy a few weeks of summer.

From the interview:

I'm going to want somebody with integrity; I'm going to want somebody with independence, who's willing to tell me where he thinks or she thinks I'm wrong; and I'm, I'm going to want somebody who shares a vision of the country where we need to go, that we've got to fundamentally change not only our policies, but how our politics works, how business is done in Washington.

Integrity. I have integrity. The fact that absolutely no one will come forward to say otherwise should not be construed as proof to the contrary. I'm trustworthy; I do my best to follow through on my promises; and I have a compulsive's work ethic, especially if what I'm working on pays overtime.

Telling the President when he thinks he's wrong? As anyone who's ever been wrong within my earshot can tell you, that's not a problem. But I do try to do it nicely.

And I'm totally on board with the changing and the vision and the hope and all that stuff.

I think the most important thing from my perspective is somebody who can help me govern.

Oh, you mean a project manager? I'm sometimes a project manager! I'm pretty good at taking a vague proposal and turning it into something that makes sense, and I'm just awesome at telling people what to do.

Also, I know how politics work. I'm a bona-fide Student Congress trophy-winner. I haven't moved the previous question since high school, but I'm sure it will all come back to me that one time in four years that I have to show up at the Senate for something other than the State of the Union address.

I want somebody who I'm compatible with, who I can work with, who has a shared vision, who certainly complements me in the sense that they provide a knowledge base or an area of, of expertise that can be useful.

As it happens, I hold a Bachelor of Arts in American Studies. The whole country is my area of expertise.

Anyway, haven't you heard? Rose Knows!

Because we're going to have a lot of problems and a lot of work to do, and I'm not interested in a vice president who I just send off to go to funerals. I want somebody who's going to be able to roll up their sleeves and really do some work.

This is where I think we might have some philosophical differences. Going to funerals is a form of sitting around and doing nothing, which is the number one duty of the Vice President. But, let's face it, I'm kind of a workaholic. I bet I can come up with some way to get a lot of work done while maintaining a facade of idleness. Oh, I know! I'll work on the White House web site. If any reporters or informants walk by my office, I'll pull up a solitaire game. That should throw them right off.

...I think Hillary Clinton would be on anybody's short list. She, she is one of the most effective, intelligent, courageous leaders that we have in the Democratic Party.

Dude. Except for my occasional tendency to start statements with "Dude,"
I am exactly the kind of voter that Hillary Clinton was after. I'm a white, middle-class woman hit hard by the recession. If the die-hard Hillary supporters can't have her, I bet they'd be willing to take a look at me. Because I'm just like them. Only with better hair.

In the Democratic primary, older voters were more likely to vote for Hillary than younger voters. I can help you there, too. See, grandmas love me. Doesn't matter what their race, ethnicity, religion, class, geographic area, political affiliation or shoe size is -- they love me. Even the ones who don't like my positions will love me for trying.

So we know what the candidate's looking for. How about the voters? Luckily, Slate.com has taken a poll. You'll notice that the word that jumps out from both the Democratic and Republican tag clouds is "experience".

Experience I am not inexperienced in politics. I've been raising my voice since I had a voice to raise. I just don't have any experience being elected to anything besides political theory debate panels in college. But look at it this way: Next to me, Barack Obama would look incredibly experienced and distinguished. Problem addressed.

I'd also be a great help in fighting the smears against Senator Obama. Take the persistent rumor that Obama is a Muslim (not that there's anything wrong with that). I'm Jewish. The people who "know" that Barack Obama is Muslim are the same people who "know" that all Muslims hate Jews. By picking me, you're proving to that small but vocal population that he's really, really not Muslim. (Not that there would be anything wrong with that.) As for the other rumors, they're pretty easily provable or disprovable with a little Googling. I am a Google goddess. (In a non-pagan sense. Not that there's anything wrong with goddesses in the pagan sense.) Bring 'em on.

Now, I'm not perfect. I sometimes take too long to return emails, I talk about baseball too much, and I'm perhaps a bit too fond of karaoke. But you won't find any mistake for which I haven't apologized, no matter how hard you dig. And there will be digging, because some reporters are going to decide that my squeaky-clean public record indicates that I have something to hide. Even if I did (and I'm not saying I do, but doesn't everyone say that?), any incidents they find would be well within the law.

I am currently available for interviews and photo sessions. Please feel free to contact me through this blog. I look forward to hearing from you. I can't wait to detail my plans for turning Dick Cheney's man-sized safe into a craft supply closet.

Enjoy August in the Hamptons!

In Re: Hollywood (The Neighborhood, Not The Industry)

2008-07-24T22:40:00.001-07:00

Given the current state of the economy, I'd think that any sort of entertainment hub-type neighborhood might want to encourage people to come out and spend money.

So why does it keep getting harder and harder to find free or cheap parking in Hollywood?

Bush Twins Party Summer

2008-07-09T18:18:00.000-07:00

Summertime is time for new episodes of Bush Twins Party Hour! Be the first kid on your block to see what we've been up to this year:

- Find out how we got the Bush Party started in The Bushy Bunch
- Check out exclusive videos from Jenna's bachelorette party month, with some very special guests
- Get more presidential with Extreme Bush Makeover
- See how First Lady Laura Bush sends her daughters off on the campaign trail
- Put your knowledge of the family's misdeeds to the test in Bush Family Scandal!

Where will the trail take us? To the summer's hottest events, of course. You'd expect any less? Reports are coming in, and we'll let you know just as soon as they've cleared Secret Service.

Check us out at:
bushtwinspartyhour.com
www.myspace.com/bushtwinspartyhour
revver.com

Any Questions?

2008-07-01T15:51:00.000-07:00

I'm bringing back the Rose Knows Q&A. (Why now? Why not now?)

Qs are currently being collected at rose-knows.net, with an eye towards a "real" launch in a week or so. Email your Qs to askroseknows at gmail.com, use the handy "Ask" form at the site, or post 'em in the comments on the initial thread. Or message me or comment here, if you're feeling lazy.

So go ahead. Ask. Anything you want, on any subject. Do I promise to answer? No. But if you get your Qs in now, you stand a pretty good chance of getting As. Heck, the As might even be related to the Qs.

Weirdest. Game. Ever.

2008-06-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

Last night. Angels and Dodgers at Dodger Stadium.

The Angels don't allow a hit.

The Dodgers win.

When Vin Scully and Joe Torre both say they've never witnessed anything like it... you know it's weird.

(Yes, the articles are saying that it's happened four previous times in modern major league history -- but it doesn't count until Vin calls it.)

And people wonder why I love baseball.

(Insert Your Favorite Dirty Word Here)

2008-06-23T01:32:00.000-07:00

George Carlin.

*sniffle*

I was going to write some soppy thing about how much the guy meant to me and mine, but, frankly, I'm too drained. Instead, I'll just note that when I logged into my MySpace account tonight, all 10 bulletins displayed on my front page were from different people cursing George Carlin's death. Which is pretty insert-your-favorite-dirty-word-here-ing impressive, in a weird way.

Why I'm Not Bothering With Daytime Emmy Picks This Year

2008-06-20T13:03:00.000-07:00

The Daytime Emmy voting system is whack.

The Academy keeps trying to fix it, I'll give them back. But this year's scheme - a longer list of pre-nominations from each show; voters theoretically trying to watch up to 30 submissions reels while cranking out a new hour-long show every day -- lends itself to the very bloc voting which the tweaks have been decided to prevent. Remove the final step of a panel to judge the top five vote-getters in each category, and you have a free-for-all.

I understand why the Academy is trying something different. Given the number of gazillion-nominee categories and ties for the statuettes, it's clear that they've been having a hard time getting enough people to commit to judging. I don't have any suggestions, but if I did, the current system would be nowhere on my list.

So, if you're one of the few people out there who still care about the Daytime Emmys -- or Daytime in general -- just keep in mind that the nominees are the top five vote-getters from the preliminary round. Quality of submissions will play into it, but I suspect that so will popularity, longevity, and memories of who bought which round of drinks last year.

Still, I'm nothing if not compulsive, and I have to see how this latest fiasco turns out. Setting DVR now. The sartorial fiascos alone should be worth the drive space.

Weather Report

2008-06-18T15:35:00.000-07:00

In case those of you who live in other states were wondering, there have been no reports of fire or brimstone hailing down on California since Monday at 5:01 pm. Despite what the self-appointed moral guardians of America would have us believe, there have been no unusual clusters of lightning strikes, hails of frogs, or total darkness.

In fact, if one would like to use the weather as an indication of their particular divinity's stance on California allowing same-sex marriage, one would have to assume that said divinity is pretty darn happy. Across the state, we're having nothing but gorgeous weather.

Those who believe that said divinity wants them to be financially successful might wish to have a gander at economic projections, which predict that same-sex marriages will add hundreds of millions of dollars to the state economy, in both wedding and tourism sectors.

The only slightly troubling sign has been George Takei and his new husband flashing the "live long and prosper" salute at every interview. I suppose it's appropriate under the circumstances, but it's still a little disconcerting to see it coming from Mr. Sulu.