Quondam Dreams

Thursday, December 21, 2006

A Very Special Holiday Message For The Drivers Of West Los Angeles

Leaning on your horn will not make the person in front of you move any faster.

This is especially true if they are holding off on their turn until those pesky pedestrians finish crossing the street.

This is even more especially true if the person in front of you has stopped at the instruction of a traffic cop, who is in the middle of the intersection in order to mirror what the traffic lights are indicating. That's all they're doing, you know. They're not saying, "Hey, there's [your name here]! We don't like [your name here]! Let's screw with her/him!" and randomly stopping traffic with the sole aim of annoying you. They're there because you can't be trusted to refrain from entering an intersection after the light turns red. (No fair claiming that you had already started your turn. You hadn't, and you know it.) By the way, they're only supposed to be there through the holidays, but if you keep acting like you own the freakin' roads, I don't think those nannies will be going anywhere in January.

And it's even more especially true when traffic around you has stopped and/or parted in order to make way for an ambulance... which you didn't hear, because you were focused on asking the person on the other end of your cell phone call to speak up, because you couldn't hear them over your horn. Not sure what an ambulance is? Keep driving like you're driving. You'll find out soon enough.

And it's even more super-duper especially true when I have a headache.

Whatever you're racing towards will still be there, even if your turn is delayed by twenty seconds. Really. I promise.

This concludes my very special holiday message to the drivers of West Los Angeles. Thank you for your attention. Don't make me come down there. You really don't want me coming down there, not with this headache. Trust me.

Peace and other concepts with which you are apparently unfamliar,


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