Oh, Ben.

Ben Affleck, Ben Affleck, Ben Affleck. The one thing you could have done to endear yourself to me, and you passed it up.


You could have done a spot on Degrassi: The Next Generation.

Kevin Smith is taking Jay and Silent Bob to T.O. for a three-episode arc, and he invited his pal Ben Affleck along. Affleck turned him down. I'm sure he had his reasons, but I don't care. This is Degrassi we're talking about! DEGRASSI! A chance to make it all up to two generations of entertainment consumers by doing a cameo on the coolest show on digital cable! And, I mean, if he had turned out to be related to Spinner? That would have explained a whole lot about both of them. Seeing little Angela's thwarting him from getting between Joey and
Caitlin by explaining the Canadian parliamentary system to him would have been priceless.

Ahem. Not that I'm obsessed or anything. (What? I had a lot of time on my hands while I was unemployed. And Joey's still kinda cute.)

Silly, silly Ben Affleck. I'd started to feel a little tiny bit sorry for him, what with being the whipping boy du mois, but this is not the time for him to start getting selective about his roles. My one-sided (non-stalker-ish, all in good fun, just a way to amuse myself based on residual bitterness about something to which he's connected, no need to take legal action against me) vendetta is still on.

Affleck, you've been warned. Someday, somehow, you will feel my wrath. It will be very small and you probably won't notice it, but if you ever feel an unexpected tiny prickle, that's probably it. 'Cause, I'm, like, fierce 'n' stuff.