Quondam Dreams

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Playoff picks

Banged these out a couple of days ago, but haven't had a chance to post them until now. Please note the following:

I estimate that coming up with these took about one-twentieth the time that it took any of the actual professional sportswriters to come up with theirs. The results are pretty much the same as those of the people who get paid for this sort of thing. I'm so in the wrong line of work.

Predictions are based largely on a combination of team OPSes (look it up) and ERAs -- oh, and the fact that I don't really care.


Divisional series:

Chicago vs. Boston (or: How many times do you have to reach into a drawer to get a matching pair of sox?):

In Boston's favor: Significantly better OPS

In Chicago's favor: Better pitching staff; won last 5 games of season;
with my brother's relocation to L.A., I know more people in Chicago
than in Boston; white socks go with more things than red socks.

Pick: Chicago in... I don't know, let's say 5.

Yankees vs. Angels:

In the Angels' favor: Better pitchng staff; won last 4 games of season.
Against the Angels: Dumb-ass new name.

In the Yankees' favor: Better OPS; more experienced team (average 11 yrs to Angels' 6.2 yrs; average age 33.3 to Angels' 29.6); entire population of Bronx will be out for blood if they lose.
Against the Yankees: Karma.

Pick: The fifth game will go to the 14th inning, at which point the Yankees will petition to have the Rally Monkey registered as an instrument of torture. Yankees win, but only after five games of neither team seeming like they really want to win.

ALCS: Statistically, a Yankees - White Sox matchup looks much like the Yankees-Angels matchups, so see above. White Sox win in 6 because the Yankees are just plain tuckered out after the Angels series.


Divisional Series:

San Diego vs. St. Louis (or: two saints walk into a bar):

In St. Louis' favor: Better OPS and ERA; won last 3 games of their season; still pissed about last year.
Against St. Louis: Announcers will quickly tire of Grudzielanek and Isringhausen.

In San Diego's favor: Um... they managed to finish over .500?
Against San Diego: Lucky to be in the suckiest division in all of baseball; carrying Chan Ho Park.

Pick: Cardinals in 3. Really, it'll all be over by halfway through game 2, but there are tv contracts to consider.

Houston vs. Atlanta

In Houston's favor: Better pitching. Much better pitching. Hey, did I mention how much better their pitching is?
Against Houston: Roger Clemens lives in his own little world; starting rotation includes a guy called Wandy.

In Atlanta's favor: Better OPS; habit.
Against Atlanta: Lost last 4 games of its season; Tomahawk Chop has gone from grating to just plain annoying.

Pick: Houston in 4, thanks to their dominant pitching. (But if you ask Andy Pettit, it'll be because he prayed for it.)

NCLS: St. Louis in 6, because pitching can only take Houston so far.

World Series: St. Louis in 5. You can go on and on about this being Chicago's year, but the Cardinals are simply a better, more experienced team. I think having the cutest uniform in the league builds character.


  • "San Diego vs. St. Louis (or: two saints walk into a bar)"


    "Against St. Louis: Announcers will quickly tire of Grudzielanek and Isringhausen."

    Brilliance that can create the above lines is rare. I'm glad you are my token Jewish friend...

    By Anonymous Leemer, at October 7, 2005 at 3:40 PM  

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