A Note To Recruiters, Re: The Most Important Thing Of All

Hi, recruiters. Thanks, as always, for googling me upon stumbling on my resume. This little note from me to you is getting to be an annual tradition, because my springtime unemployment is getting to be an annual tradition. (Three years in a row now. Four out of the last five. I feel like I should get a ring or something.) I was keeping track of lots of little things that are driving me up the wall this time around, and I may yet get around to writing about them. However, something of paramount importance has come up.

Recruiters, I'm happy to come to your office to meet with you. But please, please inform me on the phone if you don't validate parking. If I need to come armed with tons o' cash, I'd rather know ahead of time.

Mind you, I can't see why you wouldn't validate, especially if your office is located in a place with minimal street parking (say, Westwood). Yeah, it's a small expense for you, but you plan to make more money than that off of me, right? If I have to pay, then that's sort of making me pay a fee to be represented by you, and that's just plain not cool.

Now, maybe you're calling me from a city with decent public transportation. Yeah, see, we don't have that here in West L.A. The people at your West L.A. office will confirm this.

Please don't tell me that too many people come through your office for you to absorb the expense of validating all those parking tickets. The great majority of agencies I've visited validate, and they don't give me tsouris about it. In fact, they smile and thank me for coming in. It's almost like they want to work with me or something.

I want to work with you. You want to work with me. Why stick me with a nasty surprise when you could avoid it in so many ways?

Thanks for your interest. You're a wonderful human being who does an outstanding job. I can say that with absolute certainly, even though we've never met. Yup.