2013 Magic 8-Ball Oscar picks

Sure, my Magic 8-Ball is the only oracle that's not predicting a win for Anne Hathaway or tapping Amour for Foreign Language film. You know who else was a lock for gold? McKayla Maroney.

Anyway, in a year when the guild award results don't agree with the "what does a white male executive in his 60s think he should like?" thought experiment, you've got to go with something. Why not my Magic 8-Ball?

Magic 8-Ball Picks at Red Carpet Crash

Fish Issues

Fish, people. Fish. You know how I feel about fish. You don't know how I feel about fish? Jump to about 1:50 and let my alter ego Marion Burke tell you all about the zombie threat from the sea...




For more nuttiness, see The New Level and Marion Burke's Facebook pages.