Quondam Dreams

Monday, October 24, 2005

World Series Predictions

Scenario #1:

Houston wins in 6.

Series MVP Roger Clemens instinctively thanks George Steinbrenner for bringing Roy Oswalt into the Yankee fold.

All hell breaks loose.

In the ensuing chaos, the trophy disappears.

In his next column for El Portal, Ozzie Guillen admits to swiping, though he's not sure why he did it. He offers to give it back, but the Astros who can read Spanish all tell him that the essay's so beautifully written that it deserves a trophy. (Seriously, if you have any level of comprehension of written Spanish, you've got to check out his weekly essay. Links to the originals with selected paragraphs in translation at Slate.)

And so, the World Series trophy's location remains a mystery to the non-Spanish-speaking world until next spring, when it mysteriously shows up behind the bar at Cubby Bear.

Scenario #2:

Roger Clemens is still down for the count, and the Astros are lost without him. The Sox win in 5. After the games that the Sox lose, a journalist notes that the team didn't try very hard, but draws short of invoking the Black Sox for one simple reason: If Clemens can't pitch game 5 then it'll probably go to Wandy Rodriguez. And if there's one guy who won't mind being the one who loses the World Series, it's the guy who's gone through life being called "Wandy".


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