Quondam Dreams

Friday, January 13, 2006

Review: Trapped In The Closet panel @ UCB

So last night I went
to the UCB theater
to see and hear and hear about and discuss R Kelly's Trapped in the Closet
chapters 6 through 12, y'all

it was standing room only
Aziz Ansari and Paul Scheer was jumpin', their wigs all fallin' off
like they was meaning to do that
the midget was there
the actual midget
from chapters 8 or 9 through 11 or whatever, only he didn't have no
inhaler or pie

and so was the closet
the closet was there
that stupid-ass closet
wanting to throw down
with Patton Oswalt
and Patton went for the closet
and the closet screamed "bring it, bitch"
and Patton brought it
but the host pulled out his Baretta
so Patton just said, "That doorknob didn't look like that
befooooooore -
you had work done on that doorknob"
and the door was like "bitch, bring it"

and the midget was smoking
and Fake Joe Eszterhas was drinking
and he gave me a drink of his booze, it was really good stuff
and we still don't know how Twon got there at the end of chapter si-iii-iii-iiiiiiix
and now I can't stop thinking
in sing-songy verse.... form.


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