Daytime Emmy Soap Predix (For Posterity, Not Because Anyone Who Reads This Blog Cares About Them)

Old habits die hard... plus there's a chance I may need to get back up to speed on all this stuff. Anyway, I'm in full-on pre-performance procrastination mode...

Drama Series: The Young And The Restless. All actors, writers and directors are hereby ordered to watch the episode in which Cassie dies. See, that's how you wring every ounce of emotion out of a situation without insulting the audience's intelligence. That sucker was better-done than most of what gets submitted for prime time Emmy judging. The other submitted episode was run-of-the-mill good up until the last few minutes, which were... um, pretty damn hot.

All that said, Guiding Light might pull it out. They submitted some great tapes, and they could frankly use the win.

If General Hospital wins, it will be because it has mastered the art of producing two blowout episodes per year and submitting those for the Emmy. I think that's kind of pathetic, but it does seem to work for them. So there ya go.

Directing: Y&R. Writng: ATWT. Always the safe picks.

Lead Actor: Tony Geary from General Hospital. See Park, Hit Out Of.

Lead Actress: Kim Zimmer from Guiding Light. The Bold And The Beautiful's Susan Flannery has won before by submitting the same type of tapes that she did this year, so I'm thinking a little fatigue might be setting in. Wait a minute. What am I thinking? This is the Daytime Emmys. Fatigue never sets in. Let's say it's a toss-up between the two of them.

Supporting Actor: In this category, there's usually someone who stands out in a very particular way, and they get the award. This year, there are two of them. Depending on who's on the panel, it will either go to Jordan Clarke of Guiding Light (he's the one from a different demographic -- see Stuart Damon and Ben Hendrickson's wins for an example of this) or Trent Dawson of As The World Turns (same age range as the other three nominees, but the only one who consistently brings the funny). Jordan Clarke wins if Trent Dawson splits the votes with last year's winner, Greg Rikaart of Y&R. Trent Dawson wins if there's new blood on the panel. Greg Rikaart wins again if there's not. (Not that he doesn't do a good job. I just don't think his tapes from this year are as good as last year's, and I think that does matter.)

Supporting Actress - There's rarely a way to predict this one. My gut says Gina Tognoni of Guiding Light. Not that my gut instinct is any great predictor.

Younger Actor - Michael Graziadei of Y&R. The soap press at large has been fawning over GL's Tom Pelphrey ever since he started off, but I don't think the voters quite buy it. From what I hear, Michael's submissions were better. Possible upsetter is Jesse Soffer of As The World Turns, though Jennifer Landon's going to have to win her category for him to pull that off. Speaking of which:

Younger Actress - Toss-up between Y&R's Camryn Grimes and ATWT's Jennifer Landon. In Camryn's favor: Freakin' amazing as the dying Cassie; previous win. In Jennifer's: Great submissions; she's Michael Landon's daughter.


UPDATE: And the winners were...

Show: General Hospital
Directing: General Hospital
Writing: The Young And The Restless
Lead Actor: Tony Geary, GH
Lead Actress: Kim Zimmer, GL
Supporting Actor: Jordan Clarke, GL
Supporting Actress: Gina Tognoni, GL
Younger Actor: Tom Pelphrey, GL
Younger Actress: Jennifer Landon, ATWT

Sometimes it's like I never left.

I Never Learn

The other day, I had what seemed like a very promising job interview. I had the background the interviewers were looking for. I knew exactly what they had in mind for the position, and I was chock-full of ideas that went over well. I clicked with everyone there. Best of all, it was close to where I live.

Yeah. Just got an email rejection.

Why do I even bother getting my hopes up anymore?

--

So I met this guy. I didn't think that it was the love match of the century, but there was potential.

Yeah. Email rejection. Classy.

Why do I even bother getting my hopes up?


--

Of course, there's a difference: While I'm just fine being single, this unemployment thing is doing quite a number on me. Yesterday, I thought I was finally relaxing a little, but I think what happened is that my stress odometer rolled over. Today, I'm back to clenching my jaw and restraining myself from lashing out at innocent bystanders.

This, too, shall pass. I'll live. But will I ever learn? And would my life be any better if I did? Wouldn't I just be turning in one set of frustrations for another?

And people wonder why I went into comedy...

Next Bush Twins Show

On Friday, April 28, we'll be presenting the Bush Twins Party Hour very special spring break special, Bushes Gone Wild!. It's part of Part of The Boob Tube's Wild On Spring Break Episodes show at Second City. Visit the Bush Twins Party Hour site for the scoop.

Not our normal interactive format, but we'll have some special guests, including a hosting assist from Daddy's old friend Scoot Dogg, and some really impressive... drinks.

The Night I Let Tori Spelling Live

With all the press about her new show, I think it's time to share the story of how I could have bumped off Tori Spelling.

This took place a couple-few years after 90210 went off the air. Evidently, Tori Spelling has a sense of humor about herself these days, but back then? Not so much.

At the time, I was working for a soap opera web site, so I had dutifully gone to the Soap Opera Digest awards. The big after-party was at this club in an office building in Hollywood, and I decided to swing by. I didn't expect to know anyone or stay long, but it seemed like a fun diversion.

I entered the club, and right away I spotted a particular soap hunk of my acquaintance. He was talking with Tori Spelling. Well, really, she was talking, and he was politely smiling and nodding and probably trying to figure out what she was doing there. (She seemed to have been tagging along with her brother and the rest of the cast of their dad's soap Sunset Beach, which hadn't been canceled quite yet.)

The hunk never did manage to remember my name from meeting to meeting, but he always remembered that we knew each other. In the course of looking around for an excuse to leave the conversation, he spotted me.

"Hi!" he called, waving me over. "How are you?" He gave me a big hug, and Tori Spelling stood there, frozen. Not only didn't the hunk want to talk to her, but he preferred to talk to someone who wasn't, you know, recognizable. "Deer in headlights" doesn't begin to describe her paralysis. Had I been inclined to take her out, I could have done so right then and there.

After a minute, she regained her composure, and sharply said, "Hi. I'm Tori." She extended her hand just a little, so I shook it and told her that I was Rose and that it was nice to meet her. I suppressed the urge to tell her that the monochromatic hair/skin/dress combo wasn't the most flattering one for her, because I'm sure someone would point it out to her when the wire photos came in.

The hunk and I finished our conversation, and I left. I waited for the valet next to a completely different hunk from the same soap, and the latter hunk's wife. Neither of them recognized me.

So that was the night I discovered Tori Spelling's Achilles heel: She couldn't stand not to be the center of attention.

Is this still true? I make no guarantees. I'm just saying, if you find yourself in a situation where you need to stop Tori Spelling in her tracks, try distracting whoever she's talking with.

I trust that you will use this knowledge for good, or at least not-evil.